Tennis Anyone?

My partner Natasha and me (taken by Matt)


OK - this blog entry is more for my tennis cronies than for anybody else but I still felt it was worth talking about. For the last two weeks here at Laburnum (where we live) they have hosted the 6th Annual Tennis Tournament. I had no intentions of signing up (I had no one to partner with) and the boys said "no way" to the kids portion of the tournament which I understood since I kind of felt the same way. I was actually surprised they even had a tournament since there is only one court and other than the kids classes in the evening - the court seemed fairly inactive (except when I was playing!). As usual, I had no idea what I was talking about.

The tourney started out slow and they were clearly actively recruiting folks to participate (the tennis guy who teaches kept asking me to sign up and even had a form delivered to my apartment). So, still I didn't believe there were many players here at Laburnum. But in the second week, the tourney picked up speed and "the talk" (who's in the finals, who beat who etc. etc.) really picked up. I was assigned partners in both the womans doubles and the mixed doubles and I thought it was a great opportunity to play and to meet some other players. Little did I know.

The womans doubles turned out to be only three doubles teams so they had a quick round robin to determine the "champions". I happened to fall into that category that morning and received the title with my partner Natasha. It was all very casual. Next came the mixed doubles and I knew it was going to be different when I showed up on a weekday to play my match at 7:30am only to have SPECTATORS! Huh? It's Wednesday morning at 7:30 - I could barely figure out how the men playing had worked it into their schedules let alone the spectators. I didn't think my partner and I stood a chance against our rival team who included one of my regular weekend players, Mahesh, (very athletic and competent) and Leena but my partner Deepok and I gave them a strong match and lost in the tie breaker. Mahesh and his partner Leena won the title which was great. It was fun.

The reason for mentioning all of this is because I continue to be amazed at what great friendships tennis has brought into my life since I started playing. Both in Ann Arbor and now here in India. Who would have thunk? There was a large crowd at the finals Sunday evening - the Laburnum has a really nice family environment - all the families were out and watching. There was food, drink and friendship even for those who don't play but came to watch. I felt welcome, had many nice chats, was invited for drinks back at Mahesh and wife's place (the one who beat me) and had a great evening. Since this tournament has begun, John and I have already had a beautiful evening out with my doubles partner (Natasha and her husband), we were invited to a playdate today by another couple who has 3 boys, and I have 3 invites to play tennis this week. Amazing. All because of a crazy game called tennis.

The boys were really cool about the fact that I won a trophy and even took pictures of me getting my trophy - they were proud of me (instead of embarrassed by me!). Seriously, that was the best part of the whole thing.

Abdominal Pain

This is an unexpected blog entry. Matt (and a few others in our family) have been dealing with Delhi Belly - stomach troubles for the past two weeks on and off so I didn't think too much of it when Matt didn't want dinner and said his stomach hurt. A little later he was running a fever and was consistently saying "I just don't feel right" which is odd wording for him and had me concerned - my mothers instincts were raised. A couple Advil and he was sleeping soundly until about midnight when stomach cramps became very severe and some vomiting followed. Great, I thought, at least we know it's the stomach flu. But, the pain got worse and very specific to the right side - more pain than I've ever seen one of my kids experience - something felt wrong. But now what? I'm SO spoiled at home. Hop in my car and run over to U of M - state of the art or if I'm in the mood - go over to St. Joe's Pediatric ER. Spoiled. I started to panic because - well I shouldn't have but I did. Matt looked desperate when in so much pain and I was sure his appendix was exploding (hear the panic in my voice?). John woke up his boss at 2am who called Captain (the guy in charge of all the drivers) who got a hold of a driver to get our car and come to the apartment. We clearly need a better emergency plan which is what will come out of this experience. An hour later we were at the hospital. How do I describe the hospital? Not state of the art but not archaic either. No computers. I was greeted at the ER door by two people (only two there) who looked at me until the woman finally said "we talked" - she was the one who advised me to bring him in when I called the hospital. She was also the doctor and the one who did all the paperwork (with the ONE sheet of carbon paper she used carefully) - no forms, no computers, no high tech equipment. Still, I felt calm and she seemed capable. Just different.

Matt is fine. They want him back today to look at his upper right quadrant (gallbladder and kidney) via ultrasound - the area where he is so tender. Appendixes are lower so she quickly ruled that out. I'm hoping at the end of the day it's just a GI Tract infection we can treat with some antibiotics. An experienced Indian woman who I played tennis with this morning (yes, I played after spending much of the night at the hospital - you can't back out of doubles play or you ruin it for everyone) said that many people here at our apartment are sick (in the tummy area) from the water... and hopefully that's all it is. I agree. I hope that's all it is.

As a side note, on my way down to the car with Matt in my arms, I ran into our neighbors coming home who we really haven't officially met yet. They also have two boys and gave me some quick advice prior to my exit to the hospital (in case it was his appendix and needed surgery) which really calmed my nerves. They then stopped at our apartment to let John know they were available to help in any way. The people we meet continue to be warm, helpful and sincere.

Gandhi Day

Mahatma Gandhi fasting with future prime minister Indira Gandhi at his side.

It's not a national holiday or anything... it was just "Gandhi" day for the Kelley boys and me. We decided to do a field trip today into Delhi since it's been awhile since we've left the comforts of Gurgaon and our theme was "Gandhi". My intention was to spend the morning at the Mahatma Gandhi Museum and then take the boys to some of the more authentic markets in Old and New Delhi so they didn't think all of India was an American style Mall like it is in Gurgaon.

On our way into Delhi we stopped at the Indira Gandhi Museum since it's on the way (Indira is not related to Gandhi but she it Gandhi's good friend/PM of India post Independence Nehru's daughter - she just married another Gandhi to get the name). She was the first woman PM of Independent India - very famous lady) and it was a wonderful modest museum. Her pre-assassination home in Delhi has become her Museum which included some very interesting things for the boys to look at including the clothing she was wearing when assassinated, a sword (which was a gift to her), and the roped off gardens where she was walking when she was so unfortunately shot by her bodyguards (something VERY wrong about that).

The fact that Gandhi himself, Indira Gandhi AND her son Rajiv Gandhi (he was prime minister after Indira) were all assassinated was the notable thread that kept the boys engaged. To tour Indira's home and feel her international reach throughout her home was special and somehow I felt myself falling in love with India and it's rich history.

We decided that was enough history for one day and headed over to the outdoor markets which always makes me a bit uneasy with 3 boys who draw lots of attention - plus it was getting hot - Delhi is HOT. We managed to get out of the car in the middle of Connaught Place and walk around to find lunch and then headed over to a Government run market called Cottage Industries where each state in India is represented for it's specialty craft (leather, rugs, wood carvings, stone inlay etc.). We met a cobbler working in one small corner outside the market fixing a pair of shoes that Jack immediately recognized we would have thrown away. They sat and watched the man and he enjoyed them watching. His hands were as leathery as the shoes on which he worked.

The prized purchase of the day came unexpectedly as we waited for Micky, our driver, to pick us up outside the Cottage Industries building. I never buy from the kids in the street but today I did. We bought a large map of India for the wall in the boys room (for 90 rupees - $2.00). Negotiations started at 250 rupees - Micky was proud of me. Now, when we are trying to plan a trip - we can actually see where we are going and I won't be squinting at the globe or rummaging through my books for a little map of a special area etc... I'm thrilled! Jack took down a picture in our dining room and hung it when we got home. Perfect.

Lastly, I continue to be amazed at how many times the boys are approached, touched and questioned. Especially Matt and Owen - Jack must be too big. Just today I would bet at least 12+ people - all men touched their cheeks, asked them their names and wanted to talk or take a picture with them. There is one thing that I find intriguing... when they meet Matt, hold his cheeks and ask his name etc. they always say "peaceful, sharp, sweet" and when they hold Owens cheeks, EVERYONE always says - with a hearty laugh - "naughty!". This might become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Priyanka wedding pictures

The arrival of the groom outside the reception... The Punjabi men wear very colorful turbans at a wedding. Someone told me there are 6 yards of fabric in a turban to be wound around the head (there are also 6+ yards of fabric in the wrap of a sari - very complicated). Not sure if this is true about the turban but I would have loved to see one of the men actually put the turban on - they are very cool looking and festive. Young and old men wear them which makes it even better somehow.



The bride and groom with (I think) the grooms sister, brother in law and nephew.














The Google clan with the bride and groom after presenting the bride with a present.

The wedding and more...

Wow - my first Indian wedding and potentially my only. It was a very interesting experience and I really enjoyed it. Since I have never met the groom or the bride (the bride works with John and we think it's customary for employees to invite their "managers" to the wedding) I felt like someone had given me a "free pass" just to watch or be a bystander at a very vivid, traditional Indian family experience. What a perfect way for me to people watch. I think the people watching was a mutual experience. A couple times John even noticed the not so subtle "Up and Down" looks I got from a few woman. It was always in good taste - just curiosity. I know that I'm tall but usually I don't "feel" tall. I did that night. A couple times the woman just looked me over and then gave me a gentle smile - I felt as if they were saying "nice job" on the outfit which made me feel good - I'm glad I made the effort to wear Indian appropriate clothing.

So - the wedding... very bright, VERY festive and full of things you would see in a colorful picture book of India. I did not take my camera because I felt self conscience but I took several pics with another fellow googler's camera and she will share them with me. The groom was Punjabi which meant his traditions were a bit different than the brides. The most interesting part of the reception for me was the following...

The evening starts when the grooms family gathers at a separate spot from the brides family who is waiting with the rest of us at the reception (we actually went on time - big mistake). At the groom's gathering, he is placed on a brightly decorated white horse while his family sings and dances and parties is a big way around him. They will party for hours - sometimes into the wee hours of the morning - in the streets - on the way to the reception with no regard for traffic etc. - they own their space. When they arrive, well... they arrive. Until then, everyone waits. The bride stays hidden in a room somewhere in the hotel until after the groom arrives. I'm not sure which entry was more spectacular/colorful or full of song and dance but in this case I think the grooms half won. There were so many moments, nuances that I missed but there was this really nice guy, another Google person who kept stopping by to explain to me what was happening and what the songs were about etc. which really added to the experience. Not sure what his name was but I wish I could say thanks. When the bride came in surrounded by her family, a group of colorfully dressed men stood around her holding a beautiful fabric over her and they all sang songs about her as she slooooowly walked up to the groom (who sat at his throne surrounded by his family) and his entourage sang back - all in fun, love and good humor which was evident in the clapping, laughing and hugging. In Indian tradition, the wife will go live with her husband and his mother, father and extended family after the wedding. In many ways, the wedding felt like the adoption of the wife into the grooms family. All in a loving, very traditional way.

What a fun night. Priyanka, the bride, looked stunning in her full ensemble (I hope to post a picture of them later) and her husband the same. Lots of shimmer, lots of bangles and lots of color. To Priyanka - thanks for letting us share on your most glorious day, and, may you be the mother to a thousand healthy children... (a small twist on a traditional wedding blessing).

The aya dilema

To aya or not to aya.... just not sure. This blog entry is really just me thinking out loud as this is the household issue I need to resolve.

It seems crazy not to hire an aya because it is SO inexpensive (even the double/triple rates they charge us expats) but seriously, what do I need with a 24/7 babysitter? I only cook breakfast, I don't clean, I don't do laundry. So it seems like hanging out with my 3 kids while we are in a foreign country is a pretty good option. But.... there is always a but...

It seems like the aya thing is an ALL or NOTHING proposition. Part time aya's are very hard to find and if you require some basic English skills - well - you're dreaming if you expect to find a part time, English speaking aya. I love my kids but I do need SOME time away from them and just calling a babysitter over for a few hours isn't an option. Currently, I've lucked out in an enormous way because I have access to an English speaking aya (Theresa) who lives at Laburnum apartments (our complex) and is available to work evenings for me because her Madam has gone back to the states and hasn't packed up her Laburnum home yet. That's getting me through this while I figure it all out. Our first aya was a tough adjustment for everyone - especially the aya since it was her first job and she was thrust into it by her older sister who came knocking on my door the first day we moved in. Having someone with you ALL day has a stress and awkwardness of it's own - especially if it's everyone's first experience with it. I learned the hard way that if I'm going to do the "aya thing", I need to find someone we all trust and are comfortable with just hanging around ALL the time.

Things get a bit more complicated because most aya's need a servants quarters to live in and currently our house boy, Anand, is living in our servants quarters (which I didn't know we had and hadn't seen until last week). I really like Anand - he's a nice boy and works hard. Well, I'm not sure how this will work out but I'm sure it will. It will be easier to introduce another person into the equation now that the boys and I have settled in a bit and have a routine - right?

A little local fun

It is hot. I played tennis this morning and later I recognized that the gritty feeling I had all over my body was salt. Water - drink lots and lots of water. I actually canceled the boys tennis class - just too hot. So, after we did some school work we headed over to the Mall for some air conditioned fun. Each boy took a turn on a bungie jumping thing that sent them sky-rocketing to the 2nd level of the mall. Looked like fun and the smiles indicated they thought it was fun too. A stop at the bookstore, a stop at the Coffee Day (India's version of Starbucks) and we were off to pick up John and start our weekend. Sorry I don't have anything more interesting to report but in a weird way I relished the familiarity of the day (except the heat). One interesting thing is that John and I are going to a traditional Indian wedding reception on Sunday night. I'm looking forward to it and I plan to bring my camera. Otherwise, our weekend will consist of some swimming, hitting some golf balls and of course - Legos. (Notice I didn't mention cleaning or cooking - I'm still getting use to that!)

We caved....

7 weeks in and we finally did it... we went to the local TGIF's for dinner. As excited as we were for the familiar ambiance, the (american) kids menu with crayons and games attached, and of course, chocolate shakes - once again, expectations and reality were far apart. There was no familiar mac and cheese on the menu or even cheeseburgers or chicken strips - but thank goodness - there are always the fries! John had a Friday's Burger (lamb) and the boys found some american sounding things to order including a cheese quesadilla (boring) but my fajitas had to be the closest to what you might get back home. Actually, the Corona with lime wedge was the closest.

The other fun thing today is that Owen had his first riding lesson. Ever since he found out there are horses at our golf club - he's been asking me to go riding. Surprisingly, they were happy to accommodate a four year old. They picked out his horse (named Jack!) and put on a riding cap and stuck him up on the horse. For 30 minutes he rode around with a guy holding the reigns and another guy instructing him how to ride. He really enjoyed it even in the 40 degree C heat. Lots of sweating under that hat. At the end of the lesson he yelled out with exasperation "Mom - when can I ride by myself?!" and the guys just laughed but Owen was TOTALLY serious. He thought he'd be riding like John Wayne in a western after one lesson. What am I in for?

"Not on my naan!"

"Not on my naan!" were the words that came from Owen's lips the other night at dinner as I went to put other food on his plate and he didn't want anything to touch his naan. The words struck me as funny and I started to laugh which of course made Owen very mad but I explained to all 3 boys how those words were different from anything I ever thought might be uttered from their mouths. Naan is a staple for the boys - especially the naan made by our chef, Bali - even without a tandoor.

A picture of Owen and Yug (Micky's son)

I'm very delayed in this posting because we haven't been able to shake the Delhi belly thing in our house and it's been a loooong week. First John and I were sick, then Matt had a bad tummy thing and then Owen got sick with a high fever for two+ days (that was the worst part). Unfortunately, John started running a fever AGAIN yesterday - exactly one week after the first fever and Matt is still wrought with tummy trouble. Oh well, we knew it would happen - and everyone just says this means we'll be acclimated going forward. I was naive to think we were going to escape it.



On the fun front, Owen had a small dance recital at school to celebrate Baisakhi (the Punjabi harvest festival). I couldn't stop smiling. The Indian kids are tiny compared to Owen and the punjabi clothes they wore were so colorful and fun. In the picture, you can see Owen's head a top the rest in the back of the crowd. Kindergarten here is different than in the US - NOT play based. They start the morning practicing writing at a table and there is LOTS of erasing until it's done just right. I have to laugh as I watch Owen's face sitting at his table. "Are you kidding me?" is written all over his little face. His teacher puts different pages in front of him and asks if he wants to do it and he just scowls and says "no" and she just laughs because she wasn't "really" asking him at all. All the same - it's great for him. He's never had much interest in coloring inside the lines but now he can (if he wants to).



The Agra trip was great and our Driver Micky brought his wife and son along for the weekend. It was a last minute decision to ask him if they'd like to join us and John and I weren't sure how the invitation would be received but it went over with excitement and glee. They happily joined us and played with us and we all saw the Taj Mahal together for the first time in our lives. Micky's wife - Pooja and their 7 year old son Yug sat in the front of the car with Micky for the whole drive while the Kelley clan occupied the back. A full house made for a fun and interesting weekend. There were a couple awkward moments for me like when they dropped us at the hotel and went on to the guest house but Micky assured me it was clean, nice and appropriate for a family (not just male drivers). The next day, after a couple phone calls, the hotel extended guest privileges to Micky and family so they could play in the pool with us. I was very happy they joined us and I think they had a nice time too. Just SO different from all the rules I've ever known.

The Easter Bunny made it's way to India, albeit a couple days late and the box torn wide open, but it was VERY exciting. Thanks Grandma Joan. It's fun to get items we don't see here like crayola modeling magic, pokemon cards and baseball cards. The boys are asking more and more about home and I feel like we will all benefit from an extended trip home in June/July. Jack has even said he would like to go to camp so if we can make that happen we will.

Our household help has been changed up a bit. Fewer people and a much quieter day. We only have one cook and he only cooks for our family now so our kitchen is less busy. For a bunch of other reasons, our aya (Ricki) and our housemaid (Pria) are no longer working at our apartment. Our household now consists of one cook (Bali), a houseboy (Anand) and our driver Micky. I will hire a new aya in time but I want to take my time and find a good match for the family (including the existing staff).

Life is good here. I'll write again soon!

I'm freezing... I'm sweating bullets...

John jumped out of bed in the early am hours and declared "I have to turn off the AC - it's freezing in here" and I quickly replied... "are you kidding me? I'm sweating bullets". That was the first sign something was wrong. Ok - maybe not the first. The first sign was on the way home from Agra I felt "off" and had a head ache but I attributed it to the long winding drive after a HOT afternoon at the Taj carrying a 50lb sleeping Owen.

We had woken up at 3 this morning because John was shivering with a fever and I had just clearly broken a fever. Finally, we have succumbed to some kind of "Delhi Belly" thing. Fever's, achiness and overall yuckiness. So, our Easter does not feel like Easter. No baskets, no church, no egg hunts and Owen is still in his pj's at 3 in the afternoon. John has recovered mostly but I still feel fluish. Thankfully the boys seem fine and happy to have a lazy day at home after the busy and fun days in Agra.

I miss home today for the first time more than ever. I want my bunny! At the same time, it sure is nice to have someone clean up the house, make the beds and cook for the family on a day I just want to lay on the couch and read. I'm at the tail end of the Namesake - definitely a good read (thanks Dale).

Happy Easter!

Operation Gecko

Our adventure of the evening - a new pet gecko in our kitchen!



trying to trap it...


John and Jack are successful (I'm high on a counter as it had just run across the floor just missing my feet - the screams gave all the boys great laughs).

Tomorrow the Taj

I'm sitting with Jack in his room as he works on an outline for his next writing assignment. I'm impressed so far - the title is "The Warrior of Light" and the starting sentence is "you will like this story, that is... if you believe.". Hmm - can't wait to see where this goes. One of the best parts of the past 6 weeks has been the time I've re-captured with Jack. It's a good thing - for both of us. I know this situation is temporary so I'm trying to relish it.

We couldn't get accommodations in the Himalaya's that we felt comfortable with so we have decided to hit the Taj Mahal on an overnight trip to Agra (what we didn't do on our last weekend trip). Were staying at another Oberoi hotel (http://www.oberoiamarvilas.com/) which has views of the Taj from every room and hopefully another great pool and spa. No complaints.

I've been doing a little research on travel plans and two places I think we really want to visit while on this side of the planet are Phuket, Thailand and The Maldives so.... if anyone has any plans to visit these places, let me know and we'll coordinate! Would be so fun to see friends. Also, John will be in CA July 10 - 12th for work so it's likely we'll all come home around them. The boys and I will come home earlier in June and John will join us. June is suppose to be a BAD month here for heat and a good month to get out of dodge... or India.

Happy Easter to all!

ps - Matt asked me this morning if the Easter Bunny knows we are in India.... yikes.

Pro's and Con's - the little things

I'm committed to not complaining on this blog so please don't take the following information as a complaint. These are just insights I would not have had prior to our experience in this apartment and/or living in India. The pro's are somewhat obvious but some of the cons have surprised me....

Having house servants (feels strange to type that word)

• pro - there are house servants!
• con - a complete loss of control and privacy - especially hard to have a late pj morning - even on Saturdays

• pro - someone is vacuuming as I write this!
• con - they all speak in Hindi and I'm sure they are speaking about me

• pro - someone is cooking lunch as I write this!
• con - when I walk in the door EVERYONE (housemaid, cook, nanny) emerges from the kitchen like they were at an AA meeting or something - very serious and contrite

• pro - I never have to answer my phone or door
• con - neither are EVER for me and the phone and doorbell ring all day long

Having a daily housemaid:

• pro - things just magically get put away
• con - I never know where anything is - seriously - it's like a treasure hunt here all the time because she speaks no English and I can never convey what I'm looking for...

• pro - the boys belongings are magically put away...
• con - I'm worried my boys will expect this same magic in 10 months

• pro - I'm not in laundry hell - ever!
• con - a weekends worth of nice dress clothes were spot cleaned with bleach

There goes my doorbell again!

Now the phone is ringing!!


Having cooks:

• pro - I have cooks!
• con - What am I eating?

• pro - the food is fabulous
• con - Where did those ten pounds come from?

• pro - The Indian Food Chef cooks fabulous Indian food (or so I think)
• con - Mushroom Sauce and "continental food" are synonyms

• pro - the cooks cater to Jack, Matt and Owen like they are kings
• con - I don't

• pro - my kitchen is managed by someone else (not always a pro)
• con - cleanliness is NOT next to godliness for everyone

Having an aya (nanny)

• pro - extra pair of hands is awesome with 3 boys
• con - NO excuse for not getting some exercise (or losing those 10 pds)
  

• pro - she is available 24/7
• con - can't think of a con to this...

• pro - she speaks good English
• con - she doesn't speak Hindi (which is what all the other servants speak - so there are all these strange 3 way conversations and by the time it gets to english I get a two word translation - I think much is lost in the process of getting to me)
  

I hope everyone knows that I know that the "PRO's" heavily outweigh the "cons"... I just wanted to share...

Have to go eat my lunch now!

1st day of Kindergarten!

In his glory... Owen started at a little school that only has preschool through Kindergarten today. Keep your fingers crossed for me. The transition today was a bit tough since he has been a constant companion of mine since our departure in February. I like the school and the folks running it. The principle is an outspoken older Indian woman full of "c'mon in!" and "Hi Owen!!" and his actual teacher is soft spoken which is great.

I'm behind on my blogging so I started to procrastinate feeling like I had SO much to catch up on.... instead I have decided to get this blog posted and keep my promise that these blog entries will be short.

We are struggling for a travel plan for this upcoming long weekend. I was really hopeful that we could find a river camp up in the Himalaya's for the weekend but I was told there were only 3 reputable and safe exploration companies and all 3 are totally booked. Haven't given up all hope. Some white water rafting, swimming in the Ganges and campfires amidst the backdrop of the Himalaya's sounds too good to me. I'll keep you posted.